Someone recently asked me what was your first time (first love) like?
And I was numb because I don’t even remember my first time. It's so shitty that I don’t even know what your first time was like.

You know you get this feeling when you don’t know what to say and you end up making stories, so I also made one.

But that question really made me think what was it like? 

Well, I remember the first time I met him, he took my interview and like any other teenager I fell for him, not because he was way too attractive or something (well he is for me) but I was a girl new in town with lots of hopes and aspirations (also I was in a girls' school and girls' college) but basically I was way too much desperate for a guy (I think I still am but who cares right). I fell for him eventually and so did he.

Mmmmm I would really like to clarify that I never had a real boyfriend before and when I met him it somehow felt amazing. We used to talk all night, sometimes I use to make him dinner and everything was good. I was in my own LA LA LAND.

Then things started to take its shape, but I was prepared for it, coz like a fool I wanted to ‘enjoy’ every fucking thing from being happy to sad. 

But later I realised that your partner can’t always be by your side. He can’t be your travel companion, financial safety net, lover, co-parent etc. and I realise now that my life revolved around him like completely.

Then things got out of hand and like any other failed relationship, one or both lie about their feelings. Whether it is to claim the love that wasn’t felt or to pretend a lack of interest. And I think this happened with both of us.


Thoda Gyan

Everyone has had those relationships that didn’t mean anything. We vaguely remember what they look like. We might recall their name — or not. We didn’t date the other person for very long, a few weeks or months at most, and if asked to name the great loves of our life, this person wouldn’t even come to mind. Maybe we only had one meaningless relationship or many.


Those relationships are neither a success nor a failure. But a relationship that was meaningful is successful. When you recall that relationship, and you smile, and you can admit that it was special and still holds meaning today, it was a success. 


I can’t say mine was a success or a failed one, but I surely can say that it was my epic one.